


The Good Side

by sechanism



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Angst, Flashbacks, M/M, Mentioned Byun Baekhyun, Mentioned Kim Jongin | Kai, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 17:16:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30042078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sechanism/pseuds/sechanism
Summary: Sehun wasn’t supposed to keep tabs on Chanyeol.After their break up, he had sworn to never think about him again, both to himself and to his best friend, but the heart rarely operates in rational ways.orChanyeol releases a new song 2 years after their break up. Sehun feels it hits a little too close to home.
Relationships: Oh Sehun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 8
Kudos: 24





	The Good Side

**Author's Note:**

> shout out to troye sivan for writing the good side, i suggest you listen to the song while reading. it's great
> 
> i cranked this out in 1.5 days and it's my first published work so please have that in mind as you're reading. if it's shit i am so sorry 

Sehun wasn’t supposed to keep tabs on Chanyeol.

After their break up, he had sworn to never think about him again, both to himself and to his best friend, but the heart rarely operates in rational ways.

  
  
  


_ ”You can’t let him have any power over you anymore, Sehun. He doesn’t deserve your pain.” Baekhyun said as he stroked Sehun’s back through his seemingly endless sobbing. _

_ Sehun straightened up and wiped his tears. _

_ ”I swear it, Baek. I swear Park Chanyeol doesn’t own any piece of my heart anymore.” _

_ Baekhyun gave him an encouraging smile. _

_ ”I’ll hold you to that promise.” _

  
  
  


He hadn’t kept that promise. How could he, when he had been a part of Chanyeol’s musical journey from start to finish? He had been there through every ripped lyric sheet, every melt-down after a recording session, every adrenaline rush after an award show. Sehun had been as invested as the artist himself, and he had torn himself apart in the process.

Chanyeol deciding that his heart wasn’t with Sehun anymore, that his feelings had vaporized as the years had gone by, didn’t help his already wavering mental state. He had put himself through hell to support his lover, constantly at his side, putting his own career aside to be there for who he thought to be his soulmate.

That’s why, today, when Sehun got the notification that Chanyeol’s lead single titled “The Good Side” for his new album had finally been released, he put everything aside, plugged his earphones in, and pressed play.

The first few seconds sounded dream-like, hauntingly so, until they drifted off to the familiar sound of an acoustic guitar.

  
  


_ ”I got the good side of things _

_ Left you with both of the rings” _

  
  


Sehun stiffened as soon as he heard the familiar voice of his ex-lover. As he listened intently to the lyrics, a memory clouded his mind.

  
  
  


_ Sehun walked out of the jewelry store, bag in hand, lips pulled into what was surely the brightest grin he had ever pulled off in his life. _

_ The ride to his boyfriend’s place felt longer than normal, and Sehun was admittedly nervous. He had always imagined Chanyeol would be the one to get down on one knee, but Sehun had decided it was best to take things into his own hands. He was admittedly growing a bit tired of waiting for the day that never seemed to come, but he boiled it down to Chanyeol’s busy schedule and scattered mind. _

_ It was okay though. Sehun could do it. He loved Chanyeol, and Chanyeol loved him, no matter how many times he had ignored his phone calls or left his texts on read. _

_ No matter what anyone else tried to imply. _

  
  
  


Sehun stared up at the shelf above his desk. It was stacked with things Sehun had managed to collect and forget about over the years, and the ring box located right on the edge stared back at him like a bad omen. He kept listening to the song.

  
  


_ ”My fingers danced _

_ And swayed in the breeze _

_ The change in the wind took you down to your knees” _

  
  


Another repressed memory forced it’s way into the front of Sehun’s brain.

  
  
  


_ Sehun was about  _ this  _ close to losing it completely. He watched from his spot on the couch of the newly renovated studio as Chanyeol banged his head against the wall for the nth time during their already three hour long recording session. _

_ “Chill out, man. I get it, you’re stressed and tired, we all are, but we’ve only got tonight to get this recorded. You’ve got a shit ton of schedules all month, and this OST is coming out soon.” His head producer said calmly, resting his elbows against the soundboard. _

_ Sehun looked at Chanyeol, tried his best to give him an encouraging smile, but he was just as tired and frustrated. _

_ Chanyeol kept staring at the wall. _

_ When he didn’t get a reply, the producer continued, “I keep telling you, do the line with more emotion. You’re riding the melody nicely, you just gotta get into the right headspace.” _

_ Chanyeol raised his head and looked right at Sehun as he replied, “What if I don’t have any emotion to convey?” _

  
  
  


Looking back, Sehun could now recognize this particular memory as the first time Chanyeol had outright said he was done with him. He hadn’t realized it back then, the whirlwind of his boyfriend’s sudden surge to stardom and his deep-rooted affection for the man clouding the rational part of his brain.

Fleetingly, he wondered why this song hit so much closer to home than any of Chanyeol’s many other songs.

  
  


_ “I got the good side of you _

_ Sent it out into the blue _

_ The people danced to the sound of your heart _

_ The world sang along to it falling apart” _

  
  


The first song on the tracklist of Chanyeol’s second mini album, With You, was about Sehun. The entire album was actually about him, but that was the only song Sehun wanted to recognize as  _ his _ . He knew this because Chanyeol had confessed it to him as soon as he had finished it, eager to hear Sehun’s thoughts on it.

  
  
  


_ “I’m sorry for calling you over in the middle of the night, but I just finished this song and I  _ need  _ you to hear it right away,” Chanyeol said, smile wide, as he sat Sehun down on his bed. _

_ Chanyeol looked a little frenzied, eyes wide and adorned with bags underneath, hair a huge black mop on top of his head. He was beautiful even when sleep deprivation had gotten the better of him, but he was in his element, and that’s when Sehun loved him the most. _

_ “I’ve never seen you this excited about a song before. I have high expectations.” Sehun smirked, the mischevious side of him coming out whenever Chanyeol acted like a newborn puppy. _

_ Chanyeol snorted before taking a deep breath and pressing play on his laptop. _

_ The song blared out from the speakers, and Sehun paid close attention. _

_ As the final notes of the song played out, Sehun’s eyes had glossed over. The song stopped and Sehun looked back at Chanyeol, noticing he seemed just as affected as Sehun was. He took Sehun’s hands into his own. _

_ “This song is yours. I finished it too late for it to be in my first album, but I swear to you, every song on my next album will be about you.” He looked right into Sehun’s eyes as he spoke, tears escaping down his cheeks. _

_ “You are my muse, Sehun. You’ll always be.” _

  
  
  


The rest of the album wasn’t quite as kind to Sehun as the first song. He had listened to it once when it came out, only a few months after they officially ended things, and never again. Thinking about songs like Sweet Lies still makes Sehun tremble a little.

He was brought back into the present as the song he was still listening to faded into what Sehun assumed was the chorus.

  
  


_ “But I sympathize, and I recognize _

_ And baby, I apologize _

_ That I got the good side _

_ The good side of things” _

  
  


A thought occured in his head, but Sehun didn’t dare entertain it. There’s no way this song could possibly be about Sehun. Chanyeol had broken up with him over two years ago, why would he suddenly want to apologize?

No, this song was definitely generic. It had to be.

  
  


_ “I got the good side of life _

_ Travelled the universe twice _

_ So many thoughts I wanted to share _

_ But I didn’t call ‘cause it wouldn’t be fair” _

  
  


It was kind of intriguing how well the lyrics fit the aftermath of their break up. Chanyeol had indeed gone on two world tours in the time between then and now. Sehun imagined what it would be like if he had gotten to be Chanyeol’s sidekick while he played shows on every continent.

They would have gotten piss drunk at every hotel bar, laughing about a crazy fan throwing their underwear on stage or drinking from the water bottle he would have thrown into the crowd, and every night Sehun would have fallen asleep in a new bed in a new hotel room, with the calming feeling of his lover’s broad chest pressing against his back.

Instead, Sehun had been crashing on Baekhyun’s couch for far longer than a grown adult should leech off of their friend, frantically searching for a job and a new apartment to rent.

Sehun couldn’t help but let his thoughts run wild at this point. Had Chaneyol really… wanted to call Sehun and tell him about all the things he had experienced?

  
  


_ “Then I got the good side of new _

_ Found arms to fall right into _

_ I know how it looked, it wasn’t the plan _

_ And some day I hope that you’ll understand” _

  
  


Okay, this couldn’t be Sehun’s wishful thinking at this point. This song was definitely for him, on some level at least. All the events in the lyrics perfectly described the trials and tribulations they had gone through, before and after the break up.

This verse in particular was a hard one to listen to. Sehun remembers accidentally-on-purpose stumbling upon a set of pictures with Chanyeol and another guy. The guy in question being extremely popular, Instagram famous high fashion model and general heartthrob Kim Jongin. With his seemingly endless legs, perfectly sculptured face and tan skin, he looked like someone straight out of a Gucci catalogue, which Sehun supposes he was.

After some digging, he had discovered that the rumors of the two of them dating were true, and Sehun had cried himself to sleep several nights in a row, Baekhyun once again at his side with encouraging words and soothing cuddles.

Recently though, while standing in line at the café connected to his office building, he had overheard a few teenage girls talking about how sad they were that  _ “ChanKai”  _ had broken up so abruptly. He tuned them out to the best of his ability but still managed to overhear something about infidelity. As much as he wasn’t rooting for the guy his ex-boyfriend (who he still very much had feelings for) was dating, he hoped Chanyeol wasn’t cruel enough to cheat on him.

  
  


_ “That I sympathize, and I recognize _

_ And baby, I apologize _

_ That I got the good side _

_ The good side of things” _

  
  


The song had gotten to the chorus again, followed by the familiarly haunting melody from the intro, and Sehun zoned out a bit as he tried to decipher the things he had heard.

  
  


_ “I’m sure we’ll meet in the spring _

_ And catch up on everything _

_ I’ll say I’m proud of all that you’ve done _

_ You taught me the ropes, and you taught me to love” _

  
  


The bridge came to an end, and Sehun couldn’t hold it back anymore, he was down right sobbing at this point, and he kept sobbing as the last chorus faded out into silence.

He sat there for a long while after the song had ended, silently sobbing as his mind was tormented with various memories from all their years together.

The memory of Chanyeol confessing his feelings for Sehun in their junior year of high school hit him like a truck.

  
  
  


_ Sehun was walking home from school, Chanyeol right next to him, arms slightly brushing against eachother. He had a happy skip in his step today, thanks to his mom promising him that he was allowed to bleach his hair as soon as he got home from school as an early birthday gift. _

_ “Dude, can you imagine me in blonde hair? I’m definitely going to be the cutest guy in school,” Sehun laughed, still giddy in anticipation over the drastic change in his appearance. _

_ When his friend didn’t reply, Sehun continued, “Maybe it will coax one of the seniors to come out of the closet, or at the very least fuel their bicuriosity. Have you seen Kim Minseok lately? He’s seriously filling out his body, like his arms are getting huge! Sure, he’s short, but considering he’s buffing out he would have no problem lifting me—” _

_ ”Sehun.” _

_ He stopped in his tracks and noticed Chanyeol was a few paces behind. _

_ ”What? Did I make you uncomfortable talking about guys like that?” Sehun asked, furrowing his eyebrows. _

_ Chanyeol had taken it surprisingly well when Sehun had come out to him, but he never really indulged him when he went off on similar tangents about his many crushes on the older boys in school. Sehun always figured it was because he didn’t have anything to add, but the look on his face right now made Sehun a little nervous he was finally fed up. _

_ ”I–” Chanyeol sighed, running his hands through his hair. _

_ He stepped closer to Sehun until he was standing right in front of him. Personal space wasn’t something either of them cared about much, but he could feel the other boy’s breath on his face, could see the pores in his skin, and that was definitely a bit too close, even for them. _

_ Suddenly, a pair of lips were on his own mouth, gone just as fast as they had landed. Sehun stared back at Chanyeol in shock, the other boy mirroring his emotions. _

_ ”This isn’t at all how I wanted to do this, but I just can’t stand hearing you talk about other guys when I’ve been right here all along.” _

_ Sehun was about to open his mouth to say… anything, really, but was quickly cut off. _

_ ”I love you, Sehun, and I want you to love me too. I know it’s my fault for never telling you, but I’ve been so scared of rejection that I just kept my mouth shut and told myself just being near you was enough.” _

_ Sehun couldn’t really believe what he was hearing. _

_ He took a moment to think about it, Chanyeol looking at him expectantly. _

_ He made up his mind. _

_ ”Oh Chanyeol, you really should have just told me sooner,” Sehun sighed, wrapping his arms around the other boy’s neck. _

_ ”You’re more than enough for me. I want to love you, too,” he whispered into his ear. _

  
  
  


Another memory started playing behind his eyelids, like a blockbuster at the cinema. Sehun’s first dance competition.

  
  
  


_ Every single nerve-ending in his body came alive as the presenter announced his name as the First Prize Winner of the competition. His ears started ringing as the crowd, albeit small, started clapping and cheering his name. _

_ Someone put a golden trophy and a bouquet of flowers in his hands, and he bowed automatically to the crowd, the judges and the announcer. _

_ All he could focus on was the tall, lanky, cheerful boy in the crowd, right at the front of the stage, hopping like his life depended on it, his booming voice cheering his name louder than everyone else. _

_ ”I knew you would win!” His boyfriend exclaimed as he entered the dressing room, enveloping Sehun in a hug and spinning him around. _

_ Sehun giggled and wrapped his legs around Chanyeol’s waist. _

_ ”If I didn’t have my biggest, hottest and most handsome supporter sitting in the front row, I’m pretty sure I would have missed the first beat,” Sehun said between laughs. _

_ Chanyeol put him down, smirking, and said, ”And who could this supporter possibly be?” _

_ ”Zhang Yixing of course! He’s always watching me practice.” Sehun replied with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, but it quickly died down as he saw his boyfriend’s face turn into a pout. _

_ Sehun chuckled, peppered his face with kisses, and reassured Chanyeol that it was just a joke and that his boyfriend would always be number one to him, in every field and capacity. _

  
  
  


More memories prodded at his brain, coming alive from the small space at the very back of his head where people tend to push things they’d rather not remember. It was almost therapeutic in a way, thinking about everything he had refused to acknowledge for so long.

In reality, life after Chanyeol hadn’t been all that bad. The first few months had been rough, with apartment hunting and trying to get his head back into academic mode, but Sehun had prevailed and graduated top of his class at university. He now possessed a not too shabby apartment, a nice desk job, a fantastic group of friends and even taught dance classes to high schoolers on the weekends.

While he hadn’t been able to date anyone seriously since the break up, all in all Sehun lived a good life, despite the lack of intimacy and the need to check up on Chanyeol.

Sehun had just finished crying his entire body into dehydration when a familiar chime sounded through his phone, alerting him of a text message.

  
  


**From: Unknown**

**_i wanted to send it to you as soon as i finished it, but it didn’t feel fair to reach out when you had no idea what i was doing or what i was thinking._ **

**_just like with you is yours, the good side is yours as well, and i hope you can find it in you to listen to it and take it all in._ **

**_i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, i’m sorry baby. i don’t expect you to reply or to even listen to the song, but if you do, please reach out and let me talk to you. let me explain everything._ **

**_cy_ **

**Author's Note:**

> welp, there we go!
> 
> i'm working on something else rn but it looks like it might be longer than a one shot. i'm gonna try to get it out before chanyeol enlists but i doubt i'll be able to do it lmao
> 
> hope u liked this little thing!!


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